Who I Am -
Posessed By The Ego

Who I Am - The Past and The 'I'

By the age of about three years old, a child learns the emotional meaning of the word ‘I’ with its close cousins 'my' and 'mine,' and he or she becomes obsessed with them. He or she would cry, plead and pester the parents to buy them 'that' toy.

When it is bought, it then becomes ‘my’ toy to them. It is now even more important than when it was in the shop window. If separated from 'my' toy or given to somebody else to play with it, crying and tantrums follow.

As you get older, this conditioning continues, the content i.e. the toy changes to house, car, etc. and 'I' identity becomes stronger. The pain and suffering you experience when you lose or are threatened with losing anything that has a connotation of 'I' or 'my,' is acute.

The Ego

An online dictionary defines ego as the 'I' or ‘self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought'.

By the time you are an adult, your thinking structure has been conditioned by your upbringing, culture and religious background. How you think, your opinions, viewpoints, reactions and emotions are almost automatically set for you.

So the ego, or 'I', sets you apart from 'others' and you will use whatever weapons you can to fend off any attacks, even if doing so is not the best thing to do. There is a part that would rather be right than at peace.

This is why it is a lot easier to see faults in others but not in you. You will always have reasons for actions but others only have excuses.

This is the reason why relationships fail because the ego need to be right is much important than to love. Defending the ego gets in the way of you experiencing the real you. You use the excuse ‘this is who I am’ to quash any further questions.

'I' - Is The Ego

'Man is not disturbed by events, but by the view he takes of them'
- Epictetus

You need to recognize that ‘I’ in your natural defense of ‘I know who I am’ is programmed or wired to defend, protect and reinforce the limited ego-based identity.

In answering the ‘Who Am I’ question, you will find that the mind defined is only a small aspect of who you truly are.

Beware Of 'Who I Am' - The Ego

Unless you know how to recognise the workings of the ego, you will miss it, even doubt it exists. It will trick you into identifying with it again and again.

It is like being possessed with by another person. The more you make your beliefs your identity then the more cut off you are from the spiritual dimension within yourself.

'Who I am' - the ego, confuses your opinions and viewpoints with facts. It tells you that what happens to you is the full picture and their no other version.

The truth is, what you perceive to have happened is only a small part of the whole picture.

The sooner you recognise that what you call ‘Who I am’ is a master of selective perception and distorted interpretation the quicker the power of ego will diminish.

The ego is part of you tha professes to want peace but in reality wants drama and conflict. I know this may sound unpalatable but it is true. Just think about things you have done you have not been proud of.

Continuing need for superiority is the unconscious fear of inferiority. Some things when they are said in private, you don't mind as much as if they are said in public.

When you actually recognise the ego for what it is, the awakening process has begun. Most thoughts are never spoken; if they were most of would be psychiatric ward somewhere.

Spoken or not, words have hypnotic spell on you. Almost every minute of you are awake, you are engaged in a self-talk - an internal thought language.

The unconscious compulsion to enhance one's identity through association with objects is built into the very structure of an your egoist mind. So what happens?

Eckhart Tolle in his book ‘A New Earth – Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose’ puts it very well ‘you try to find yourself in things, never quite make it and you end losing yourself in them.'

Awakening From 'I am who I am'

The first step to recognising the ego and its machinations is to be conscious. It means accepting that all that you perceive, experience, think about are only the surface layer of reality. Underneath, everything is not only connected but follow universal laws such as the law of attraction.

It is difficult at the beginning to be fully aware of the ego because up to now, you probably didn't know anything about this ever-present, limited 'Who I Am.'

Becoming aware of the power that is concealed in the present moment followed by being in the present is the best way to diminish the ego. By being present, the past, which the ego thrives on, have no power.

You will not get rid of ego completely, every now and then it will try in re-assert itself but by being conscious and recognising the moment it rears its head, it is weakened. Remain vigilant by:

  • Forgiving yourself and others - Let forgiveness happen naturally through the recognition of the ego

  • Taking things less seriously and learn to laugh, and develop a sense of humour. Stick to the facts

  • Realising you are not in possession of whole

  • Being prepared to see another perspective which can be just as valid as your own

  • Learning from those you may at first perceive as enemies

  • Accepting what is: whatever you fight you strength

  • Remembering the real you requires no defence

  • Knowing that the more you include others, the easier and smoother things flow

Now that you know who you really are not i.e. the ego. You need to find out who you truly are; the meaning of your life You will also find the following information useful: